When I first read the quote from Henry Ford that said ‘Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t -you’re right.’ my first thought was ‘how can they both be right
The answer to this question is that anything you set out to achieve will always be influenced by what you are saying to yourself and how that make you feel.
In my experience over 80% of the business clients I coach and train have never given this a thought. They spend all their time helping people focus on the actions they are taking or not and don’t take time to explore what someone thinks and feels about doing that action.
This led me to develop the R.A.F.T Model©
Results = Actions + Feelings + Thoughts
Results and Actions are in the Outside World
Feelings and Thoughts are in the inside World
Your R.A.F.T. moves you from where you are to where you want to be:
- Your Results are impacted by your actions, feelings and thoughts.
- The Actions you take (or not!) impact upon your results.
- How you are Feeling about achieving something impacts upon your results.
- What you are Thinking or saying to yourself impacts upon your results.
When I was a sales manager, I noticed most of my colleagues, when working with their salespeople, only focused on targets and goals and what people had to do to achieve these targets.
When someone was not performing, the focus was on what they could do more of. How many more calls or appointments could they make? How many more people could they speak to? In other words, how much more action is needed in the outside world.
Very few people ever asked the questions “how do you feel about achieving your target?” or “when you’re thinking about this target, what are you saying to yourself?”
These are two powerful questions, because the answers you get, give a good indication of what was going on in the inside world of that person.
Asking, “how do you feel about…” is a very specific question. It will give you a totally different answer than if you ask “what are you feeling about…”
Here are some real life answers my clients have given me when asked, “How do you feel about this project you are working on?”
“I feel scattered”
“I feel rock solid”
“I feel like I an hitting my head against a brick wall”
“I feel all over the place”
“I feel I am going round in circles”
“I feel in two minds”
“I feel that it’s a done deal”
“I feel sure this will happen”
“I feel really confident about this one”
These answers are not describing what we would term emotions, they are giving you a clearer picture about how that person is imagining that situation.
Asking, “what are you saying to yourself” tells you the self-talk or conversation someone is having with themselves. This is also known as your ‘internal dialogue’.
Here are some real life answers my clients have given me when asked, “What are you saying to yourself when you think about this project you are working on?”
“I will never get to the end of this”
“I have lost control of this project”
“This is not going to work”
“I am really confident about this”
“I will get this project finished on time”
“I have checked everything”
“I give up”
“I never get to speak to the right people”
“I will find a way round these problems”
These answers let you know how someone is dealing with whats going on and the outcome they are expecting to happen. Some of these answers are resourceful and some are not.
In each case whatever someone is saying to themselves impacts upon the result they end up getting.
Once you have an insight into someone’s inner world, you can help them identify whether, what they are thinking and feeling is resourceful or not for achieving their objectives.
When someone is saying to themselves “I will never get this target,” and feeling like they are going round in circles,” helping them change what they say to themselves and feel differently about the outcome will change the result.
A way to help someone do this is by getting them to imagine a time that they achieved their target and asking “Has there been a time when you achieved a target?” as long as they say yes you can then ask them.
“How do you feel when you know you are going to achieve this target?”
Notice I have asked this question in the present tense, as if it is happening now.
You then ask “What are saying to yourself when you know you are going to achieve your target?”
Again this question is asked in the present tense.
The reason for asking both these questions in the present tense is to help that person get the feeling of being resourceful and that change in feeling will help then think differently.
You then ask “So keep feeling like this and ask yourself how you are going to achieve this target?”
These questions are designed to get the person you are working with in a resourceful state so that they can become clear about what they have to do and come up with their own plan of action, rather than being told what to do.
For more information about Executive Coaching with Fiona and our True Business Leader NLP Programmes and on-line courses visit https://fiona-campbell.mykajabi.com